What are Models of Grief?

Grief is a natural response to loss. It affects people emotionally, mentally, physically, and socially. Health and social care workers must understand different models of grief to provide better support to those experiencing loss. These models explain common patterns and stages people may go through. They can guide care planning and improve communication with individuals and families.

No single model works for everyone. People react to loss differently depending on age, culture, personal history, and the nature of the loss. Knowing the range of models allows workers to adapt their support to the person’s needs.

The Five Stages of Grief – Kübler-Ross Model

The Kübler-Ross model is one of the most well-known. It describes five emotional stages that many people experience following loss. Not everyone experiences all five stages, and they may not be in sequence.

The stages are:

• Denial – The person refuses to accept the loss. They may feel numb or act as if nothing has happened.
• Anger – Frustration, resentment, or anger may be directed at themselves, others, or the situation.
• Bargaining – The person may make promises or consider “what if” scenarios, hoping to change the outcome.
• Depression – Feelings of deep sadness, hopelessness, and withdrawal from others.
• Acceptance – A gradual understanding of the reality of loss and readiness to move forward.

Example in practice

If a patient has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, they may first react with disbelief, then anger at medical staff, later hoping for a miracle cure, feeling deep sadness, and eventually accepting the reality while focusing on making the most of their remaining time.

Health and social care workers need to be patient during each stage. They should avoid rushing the person, instead offering emotional support and practical help.

The Dual Process Model

Developed by Stroebe and Schut, the Dual Process Model focuses on two main types of coping. It sees grief as an ongoing process that moves between different modes rather than fixed stages.

The two modes are:

• Loss-oriented coping – Facing the emotional pain directly. Missing the loved one, crying, recalling memories, feeling sadness.
• Restoration-oriented coping – Adjusting to life changes after loss. Managing finances, returning to work, creating new routines.

People often switch between these modes over time. One day they may spend time looking at photos of the person they lost, and the next day they may focus on sorting legal paperwork.

For workers, this model highlights the need to support both the emotional and practical sides of coping. Encouraging the person to take breaks from intense grief can help them build resilience.

Worden’s Tasks of Mourning

J. William Worden suggested that grief is about completing certain tasks rather than going through stages. He described four main tasks:

1. Accept the reality of the loss – Recognising that the person is gone and will not return.
2. Process the pain of grief – Feeling the emotional impact instead of avoiding it.
3. Adjust to life without the deceased – Adapting to changes in roles, responsibilities, and social connections.
4. Find an enduring connection with the deceased while moving on with life – Keeping memories without being stuck in the past.

This model encourages active engagement. It supports workers in helping people face their loss and rebuild their lives while honouring their memories.

Parkes’ Model of Bereavement

Colin Murray Parkes viewed grief as a transition involving phases:

• Numbness – A stunned emotional state immediately after loss.
• Pining and searching – A strong longing for the deceased, thinking about them constantly, seeking reminders.
• Disorganisation and despair – Feeling lost, unsure about roles and life direction.
• Reorganisation – Gradually forming new routines and relationships.

Parkes’ work draws attention to the intense longing some people feel. Recognising these phases helps workers prepare for emotional highs and lows in the grieving process.

Anticipatory Grief Model

Anticipatory grief occurs before an actual loss. People may experience it when a loved one has a terminal illness or when a major change is certain to happen.

Common features include:

• Sadness before the death or change happens
• Anger at the situation or loss of future plans
• Guilt for feeling grief before the person has gone
• Gradual emotional adjustment before the actual loss

Health and social care staff must understand that anticipatory grief is real. Emotional support during this time can reduce shock and distress later. For example, family members of a person in end-of-life care may begin to process their feelings well before the death.

Continuing Bonds Model

This model challenges the idea that grief means “letting go” completely. Instead, it suggests that maintaining an ongoing bond with the deceased can be healthy.

Continuing bonds might include:

• Talking to the person in thought or prayer
• Visiting their grave regularly
• Keeping photos or personal belongings on display
• Sharing stories about the person on special dates

In care settings, staff may see this in bereaved parents who keep a bedroom unchanged or wear jewellery containing ashes. The key is to recognise these behaviours as part of healthy coping, not as signs of denial.

Meaning Reconstruction Model

Developed by Robert Neimeyer, this model views grief as a process of rebuilding meaning after loss. People may re-evaluate their beliefs, identity, and life goals.

This model includes:

• Creating a personal narrative about the loss
• Finding lessons or new values that come from the experience
• Integrating the loss into one’s life story

Health and social care workers can support this by listening to personal stories, respecting changes in belief systems, and encouraging creative expression.

Application of Models in Health and Social Care

In practice, workers often use elements from several models together. Different situations call for different approaches. For instance:

• In traumatic loss, early stages may follow Kübler-Ross patterns, but the long-term recovery may be better explained through the Dual Process Model.
• For parents losing a child to a long illness, anticipatory grief and continuing bonds are both likely to occur.
• When someone struggles to adapt years after a loss, Worden’s tasks can provide a practical focus.

Workers should:

• Listen actively and without judgement
• Recognise where the person might be in their process
• Offer resources for emotional and practical support
• Adapt their communication for cultural and personal differences
• Avoid imposing timelines or telling people to “move on”

Cultural Impact on Grief Models

Different cultures understand and experience grief differently. Rituals, mourning periods, and beliefs about death influence how people grieve.

Some cultures encourage strong public displays of grief, while others value quiet reflection. Health and social care workers need cultural sensitivity when applying these models.

For example:

• In some traditions, maintaining continuing bonds through ritual is expected.
• Others may emphasise acceptance and moving forward.
• In certain communities, crying openly is honoured, while in others it is discouraged.

Cultural awareness prevents misunderstanding and improves trust between workers and those they support.

Challenges in Applying Models

While models are useful, they are not fixed rules. People may:

• Experience grief in ways that do not match any model
• Move back and forth between stages
• Express feelings in private rather than publicly
• Appear to cope well but struggle internally

Health and social care workers must treat models as flexible guides rather than strict sequences.

Supporting People Through Grief

Support can include:

• Listening and validating feelings
• Helping with practical tasks such as arranging funerals or managing bills
• Suggesting peer or group support
• Referring to counselling services
• Offering safe spaces for expression, such as art or writing groups

Grief support should match the person’s preferences. Some individuals value talking sessions, others prefer quiet companionship.

Observing Signs of Complicated Grief

Complicated grief, sometimes called prolonged grief disorder, may require professional intervention. Signs include:

• Intense longing lasting for many months or years
• Inability to accept the loss
• Avoidance of reminders of the person
• Severe impact on daily life activities
• Persistent depression or anxiety

Workers who notice these signs should suggest specialised mental health support.

Communication Skills in Grief Support

Good communication is essential when supporting grief. Workers should:

• Speak in a calm tone
• Use simple and clear language
• Avoid trying to “fix” feelings
• Respect silence when the person does not want to talk
• Ask open questions to encourage expression

Non-verbal communication is important too. Sitting quietly, maintaining eye contact, and showing respectful body language can help the person feel supported.

Training and Policy Awareness

Health and social care workers should be aware of workplace policies on grief support. This may cover:

• Time off for bereavement
• Referral pathways to counselling
• Guidelines for professional boundaries
• Cultural competency training

Policies give structure to support and protect both staff and patients or clients.

Final Thoughts

Grief affects every person differently, but the models of grief provide useful frameworks to understand patterns and needs. As a health and social care worker, recognising which model is most relevant can guide your support and response.

It is important to remember that grief is not something a person “gets over” in a set time. People may continue to experience moments of sadness years after a loss. By knowing these models, listening with empathy, and respecting cultural and personal differences, you can offer meaningful help.

Do you want me to prepare a set of sample assessment answers for this unit so learners can see how to apply these models to real-case scenarios? That way it will fit directly with the NCFE Level 3 criteria.