2.1. Describe different views of how individual children, young people and adults may respond, over time, to loss

This guide will help you answer 2.1. Describe different views of how individual children, young people and adults may respond, over time, to loss.

Loss can profoundly affect people, with differing impacts based on age, personal experiences, and support networks. Loss may mean the death of a loved one, separation, illness, or even significant lifestyle changes. Responses to loss are deeply individual and can change over time. This understanding helps support workers provide better care to children, young people, and adults.

Children’s Responses

Immediate Reactions

Children may not fully comprehend the concept of loss, particularly at younger ages. In the immediate aftermath, their reactions might include:

• Confusion about what has happened.
• Searching for the person or item they have lost.
• Asking repetitive questions about the loss.
• Crying, tantrums, or withdrawal from activities.

Some children may temporarily behave as though nothing has changed. This is sometimes their way of coping with feelings they cannot yet explain.

Over Time

As time passes, children might:

• Develop physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach aches.
• Experience regression, such as bedwetting or clinginess.
• Display anger or frustration, often directed towards others.
• Have trouble concentrating on schoolwork or playing with friends.

Children’s understanding and response to loss can progress as they grow older. For example, a child who experiences loss at age 5 will likely process it differently by the time they reach adolescence.

Young People’s Responses

Early Reactions

Young people, such as adolescents, may show more awareness of the implications of loss. Their immediate responses may include:

• Shock or numbness, often expressed as a lack of emotion.
• Increased anxiety about other areas of their life.
• Anger, sometimes targeted at themselves, others, or the person who is gone.
• A sense of loneliness or isolation from peers and family.

Over Time

Young people can struggle with ongoing adjustment. As time progresses, their responses may involve:

• Risk-taking behaviour, such as substance misuse, as a way of coping with pain.
• Difficulty maintaining friendships or relationships.
• Persistent feelings of sadness or depression.
• Worry about the impact of loss on their future, such as family financial difficulties or educational outcomes.

It is important for support workers to understand that adolescence is characterised by hormonal, social, and emotional changes, which can amplify their reactions to loss.

Adults’ Responses

Initial Reactions

Adults often feel a responsibility to manage their emotions while taking care of others during a time of loss. Their immediate responses may include:

• Overwhelming sadness or despair.
• Difficulty making decisions or thinking clearly.
• A sense of guilt or regret about past interactions with the person lost.
• Physical symptoms like fatigue, sleep disturbances, or chest pain.

Some may attempt to continue with daily life, masking their grief while they focus on practical needs like work or family.

Over Time

For many adults, healing follows a nonlinear process. Over time, their reactions may look like:

• Intense periods of grief interspersed with moments of acceptance.
• Revisiting memories of the person lost, sometimes causing pain or comfort.
• Emotional triggers during significant dates, holidays, or anniversaries.
• Long-term changes in personality, such as becoming more reserved or open.

Adults experiencing unresolved grief might develop issues such as anxiety, depression, or prolonged grief disorder, where mourning continues intensely for years.

Cultural Views on Loss

Cultural and religious beliefs often dictate how someone processes loss. Although these do not directly determine responses, they influence expectations and behaviours.

Children and Cultural Beliefs

Children may adopt beliefs passed down by their families. For example, in some cultures, death may be explained as a transition or part of a natural cycle. These explanations can comfort children, but might also confuse them if they conflict with their personal feelings.

Young People and Individual Expression

Young people often develop their individual beliefs about loss, separate from those of their families. This can lead to challenges if they feel unsupported in expressing their grief. Alternatively, they might rely heavily on their cultural or faith-based understanding to make sense of the loss.

Adults and Rituals

Adults often bear responsibility for following cultural or religious practices related to mourning. Rituals such as funerals, memorials, or prayers provide comfort and structure for some but might feel burdensome to others. Any incapacity to adhere to such customs can intensify feelings of regret or helplessness.

The Role of Time in Healing

There is no fixed timeline for overcoming loss. People vary in their abilities to process and accept what has happened.

Over the First Year

Many people experience waves of intense grief in the first year, particularly around anniversaries, birthdays, or holidays. These moments can bring back feelings of shock, sadness, or anger.

Long-Term Scenarios

Grief might lessen over years, but memories or emotions can surface unexpectedly for a lifetime. For example, a child experiencing the loss of a parent may feel their absence more acutely during significant life events such as graduations, weddings, or the birth of their own children.

Support worker tip: Be patient with long-term reactions. Reassure those you care for that grief has no end date.

Practical Support Strategies

Understanding different responses to loss helps support workers offer sensitive care:

• Listen Carefully: Let people express their feelings, even if they seem repetitive or uncoherent.
• Be Age Appropriate: Use simple, clear explanations for children. Share helpful analogies with older individuals, where suitable.
• Encourage Routine: Especially for children, maintaining familiar schedules can provide a sense of stability.
• Provide Privacy as Needed: Young people and adults might prefer processing grief alone but check regularly to ensure they feel supported.
• Encourage Positive Outlets: Activities like drawing, journaling, or exercise can help individuals express emotions healthily.

Understanding Professional Help

While some people adjust without professional support, others may need help. Signs that additional intervention might be beneficial include:

• Extended periods of behavioural regression in children.
• Ongoing withdrawal or anger among young people.
• Depression or physical symptoms affecting adults’ ability to function.

Counsellors, social workers, and bereavement specialists can offer valuable assistance. It’s important to normalise seeking help, regardless of age.

Recognising Strengths in Responses

Even though loss is deeply painful, individuals often display strength and resilience. Children may show incredible curiosity as they refuse to forget their loved ones. Young people might develop a desire to advocate for others who have experienced similar losses. Adults often transform their grief into purpose by supporting causes related to their loss.

Support workers make a difference by acknowledging growth and helping people find ways to move forward without feeling compelled to leave their loss behind. Small acts of kindness, understanding, and support matter for people of all ages during these difficult times.