3.5. Describe how staff should respond to a person who becomes angry

This. guide will help you answer 3.5. Describe how staff should respond to a person who becomes angry.

Supporting someone with dementia who becomes angry takes skill, patience, and understanding. The way staff respond can affect how quickly anger settles and whether the situation escalates or calms down. Every person is different, so responses need to be respectful and flexible.

Staying Calm and Non-Confrontational

Staff should stay calm, even if the person’s anger is intense. Taking a deep breath and keeping a steady tone helps prevent the situation from becoming worse.

Key points:

• Keep your voice low, slow, and gentle
• Avoid raising your voice or sounding impatient
• Show a relaxed body posture
• Keep your facial expression calm and friendly
• Stand slightly to one side rather than directly in front

If you lose your temper, the person may feel more threatened or agitated.

Giving the Person Space and Time

Sometimes, it helps to give the person a little physical space, unless there is a safety risk. Stand at a safe distance. Avoid crowding, sudden movements, or touching without warning, as these can be seen as threatening.

Wait for them to calm down if possible. Do not hurry the person or demand an immediate response. Allow extra time for them to process what is happening.

Listening and Acknowledging Feelings

Show that you take their feelings seriously.

Ways to listen and validate:

• Make eye contact if they are comfortable with it
• Use active listening by nodding or verbal cues (“I see”, “That sounds upsetting”)
• Reflect their feelings: “You seem upset,” or “I can see this is really difficult for you.”
• Do not argue with their emotions, even if you don’t fully understand the reason for their anger

Acknowledge that they are distressed. Often, people want to feel heard and understood before they can calm down.

Avoiding Arguments and Confrontation

Do not argue back, challenge, or criticise. Trying to convince the person they are wrong often leads to more anger.

Instead:

• Speak simply and clearly
• Use short sentences
• Avoid blaming language
• Keep a neutral, supportive tone
• If possible, gently change the subject or distract them

If the anger is aimed at something that is not real (for example, a memory mix-up or confusion), avoid correcting them harshly. Instead, show empathy and gently direct attention elsewhere.

Identifying and Removing Triggers

If you spot a specific cause for the anger, such as noise, hunger, or discomfort, try to address it as soon as possible.

For example:

• Offer food or drink if they are hungry or thirsty
• Take them to the toilet if needed
• Move to a quieter or more comfortable area
• Check and adjust temperature, lighting, or seating
• Offer their personal belongings if looking for something familiar

Removing or reducing the trigger can help calm the situation.

Reassuring Without Patronising

Offer reassurance, but do not talk down to the person. Avoid baby talk or dismissive phrases.

Supportive reassurance can include:

• “I’m here to help you.”
• “You’re safe.”
• “Let’s see what we can do together.”

Repeating simple, reassuring words may help, but keep your responses honest and respectful.

Using Distraction and Redirection

Redirecting the person’s attention to a new topic, activity, or object can sometimes help shift their focus away from what is making them angry.

Try:

• Suggesting a favourite activity, snack, or item
• Inviting the person to another room
• Pointing out something outside
• Offering music, a drink, or something they enjoy

Do not use distraction in a way that dismisses the person, but as a gentle redirection to something positive.

Ensuring Safety

Monitor the safety of the person, yourself, and others. If someone’s anger turns to aggression or violence, follow the organisation’s safety procedures.

Actions include:

• Removing potential hazards if possible
• Keeping exits accessible in case you need to leave
• Calling for help or support if required
• Never putting yourself at risk
• Using personal protective equipment if needed
• Following incident reporting and safeguarding policies

If you feel unsafe, remove yourself and seek help.

Being Consistent and Reliable

People with dementia respond well to consistent routines and familiar staff. Being consistent in your approach reassures the person and can help prevent anger from starting in the first place.

Be reliable, patient, and repeat supportive steps when managing angry moments.

Reviewing After the Incident

After the person has calmed down, it helps to look at what happened.

Consider:

• What triggered the anger?
• What steps helped or made things worse?
• Could anything be changed in the environment or approach next time?

Keep clear records of the incident according to organisational policy.

Use the experience to plan future responses and share useful information with the team.

Knowing Your Own Limits

Supporting someone who is angry can feel stressful or upsetting. Staff should get support from supervisors, managers, or colleagues when needed.

If you experience regular challenges or feel affected by the situation, ask for guidance or debrief following incidents.

Supporting Dignity and Rights

Even during angry outbursts, continue to treat the person with dignity and respect. Do not ignore or isolate them unless safety is at risk. Involve them in decisions, offer choices, and respect their rights.

Final Thoughts

Responding to anger in a person with dementia requires patience, empathy, and careful attention. Staff play a crucial role in calming situations and maintaining dignity by staying calm, listening, and avoiding confrontation. Recognizing triggers and using gentle reassurance or distraction can help prevent escalation. Safety must always be a priority, balanced with respect for the person’s rights and feelings.

Consistency in approach and teamwork, including learning from each incident, strengthens the support provided. It is equally important for staff to seek help and care for their own wellbeing when facing challenging moments.

Ultimately, thoughtful, respectful responses not only reduce anger but also contribute to a safer, more supportive environment that promotes the wellbeing of both the person with dementia and those around them.