6.4. Describe the role of the adult when talking and listening to children

This guide will help you answer 6.4. Describe the role of the adult when talking and listening to children.

Talking and listening to children is a key part of caring and supporting them. The way an adult speaks, listens, and responds can shape how a child sees themselves and others. Every interaction can help the child’s language skills, confidence, and emotional wellbeing. This means the adult needs to be aware of their behaviour, tone, and body language at all times.

This guide covers the role of the adult in depth, showing how it impacts children’s development and daily experiences.

Building Positive Relationships Through Communication

Children trust adults more when they feel respected and heard. By taking time to listen and respond, the adult shows that the child’s thoughts and feelings matter. This trust forms the basis for a positive relationship. When a child feels understood, they are more likely to share ideas, ask questions, and seek support.

Positive relationships grow through:

• Regular, friendly conversations
• Respectful listening without interrupting
• Using the child’s name to make the interaction personal
• Making eye contact and showing interest

When the adult builds trust through talk and listening, the child is more willing to engage and learn.

Helping with Language Development

The adult plays a big part in helping children develop speech and language skills. Every discussion is a chance to add new words or model the correct grammar. Simple actions like repeating a sentence back correctly or introducing new vocabulary during an activity make a difference.

For example, if a child says “I goed to the park,” the adult can reply: “You went to the park? That sounds fun. What did you see there?” This gives the child the correct form of the word in a natural way.

Ways the adult supports language growth include:

• Speaking clearly and slowly
• Using age-appropriate language
• Encouraging the child to explain their ideas
• Expanding on what the child says to increase vocabulary

Language development improves when children are given chances to talk about different topics.

Active Listening

Active listening means paying full attention to the child. This is more than hearing the words. It involves understanding the meaning, noticing feelings, and responding in a caring way.

An adult shows active listening by:

• Putting aside distractions
• Watching the child’s facial expressions and body language
• Responding with comments or questions that match what the child is saying
• Nodding and smiling to show engagement

Active listening lets the child know they are valued and helps them open up about personal thoughts and experiences.

Encouraging Confidence

Adults help children feel confident when they listen patiently and respond positively. Confidence grows when the child’s opinions are recognised and respected. Even young children can share ideas and make choices when adults create the right conditions.

Confidence building involves:

• Praising effort rather than only results
• Allowing children time to speak without rushing them
• Responding thoughtfully, so the child sees their input matters
• Avoiding making fun of mistakes

When children feel their voice is heard, they develop self-belief and are more willing to communicate.

Supporting Emotional Development

Talking and listening help children understand feelings and how to express them. The adult can guide the child to name emotions, describe what has happened, and explore how to handle situations. This makes the child better at regulating their emotions.

For example, if a child is upset, the adult can say “You look sad. Do you want to tell me what happened?” This helps them label the feeling and discuss it.

The adult supports emotions by:

• Using calm tones when children feel strong emotions
• Showing empathy through understanding words
• Models ways of problem-solving and coping
• Offering reassurance and comfort when needed

Over time, children learn to manage feelings more effectively.

Choosing the Right Setting for Conversation

Children need a safe and comfortable space to talk. The adult should aim to choose quiet settings for longer or more personal conversations. This might be a corner of the classroom, a quiet area in a playroom, or during a calm activity like reading a story together.

Things to consider:

• The child should feel safe and not overheard by too many others
• Distractions should be minimised
• The child should be able to sit or stand comfortably

The setting can influence how willing a child is to share.

Using Body Language Effectively

What an adult does physically during a conversation matters as much as the words spoken. Children often read meaning from posture, facial expressions, and gestures.

Examples of positive body language:

• Kneeling or sitting to match the child’s height
• Smiling to show warmth
• Maintaining gentle eye contact
• Avoiding closed-off gestures like crossing arms

Positive body language reassures the child and invites communication.

Responding to Non-Verbal Communication

Children may not always use words to express themselves. They might show feelings through actions, facial expressions, or behaviour. The adult needs to notice these signs and respond in a way that supports the child.

For example:

• A child frowning and avoiding eye contact might feel worried
• Sudden quietness could mean they feel shy or upset
• Energetic movements might show excitement or frustration

Acknowledging non-verbal cues helps the adult understand the full message the child is sending.

Respecting the Child’s Point of View

Children see the world differently. An adult should allow them to express opinions, even if they disagree. Listening with respect builds mutual understanding and shows the child that their thoughts have worth.

This means:

• Avoiding dismissal of ideas
• Asking why the child thinks or feels a certain way
• Explaining differences of opinion without being critical

Mutual respect supports healthy communication.

Giving Time for Responses

Children need time to think before answering questions. Adults should be patient and avoid finishing sentences for the child. Waiting gives the child space to find words and build confidence.

For example, an adult asking “What did you like about that game?” should pause and wait rather than jumping in with suggestions.

Patience is a sign of respect and helps the child lead the conversation.

Modelling Good Communication Skills

Children learn from observing adults. If the adult listens well, speaks clearly, and uses polite language, the child will copy these skills. This is especially important for young children who are developing social habits.

Good modelling involves:

• Using manners during conversations
• Speaking with kindness and care
• Maintaining eye contact when talking
• Listening without interrupting

Modelling sets the standard for how children communicate with others.

Adapting Communication to the Child’s Age and Needs

Children have different abilities depending on age, development stage, and any additional needs. The adult must match their communication style to suit the child. This may mean simplifying language for younger children or using visuals for those who learn better through pictures.

Adaptation might include:

• Short, clear sentences for toddlers
• More detailed discussion for older children
• Supporting communication with gestures, signs, or aids

Matching the way the adult communicates to the child’s needs helps conversations be effective.

Encouraging Conversation in Play

Many children talk more freely during play than in formal settings. Adults can join in play activities and use them as natural opportunities to talk and listen.

Ways to encourage talk in play:

• Asking questions about what the child is doing
• Introducing new vocabulary linked to the play
• Responding to the child’s ideas and suggestions
• Extending play scenarios by adding new elements

Play offers a relaxed environment for building communication skills.

Dealing with Conflict or Disagreement

Sometimes children will disagree with each other or with adults. The way the adult handles this affects how the child learns about communication and problem-solving. Talking calmly and listening to all sides helps the child see different perspectives.

Key points for conflict situations:

• Let each child explain their view
• Listen without interrupting
• Use fair and respectful language
• Guide towards a solution that everyone can agree on

This teaches children to manage problems through words rather than actions.

Linking Communication to Safeguarding

Good communication helps to protect children. If a child trusts an adult, they may share concerns or problems. Taking time to talk and listen creates opportunities for children to speak up if they feel unsafe.

The adult should:

• Be approachable and open
• Respond seriously to any issues raised
• Follow safeguarding procedures for anything concerning
• Create a safe space where the child believes they will be listened to

Trust and safety are closely linked to effective listening and talking.

Supporting Group Discussions

Children often take part in group conversations. Adults can guide these by helping quieter children join in and making sure each person’s turn is respected. This teaches fairness and social skills.

Support in groups means:

• Encouraging all children to speak
• Reminding them to listen while others talk
• Helping them respond politely
• Managing behaviour so everyone gets a chance

Group communication helps children practise speaking and listening in a shared setting.

Final Thoughts

The role of the adult when talking and listening to children shapes how the child communicates, learns, and develops socially and emotionally. Every conversation is an opportunity to encourage language skills, confidence, trust, and respect.

An adult’s listening skills, tone of voice, and body language can make a child feel valued and safe. Making time for conversations, adapting to the child’s needs, and using play as a way to engage are all part of effective communication. When the adult commits to these actions in everyday situations, the child gains more than language ability. They grow in self-worth and have stronger relationships.