2.4 Explain approaches to managing situations when the child and young person’s choices are different to those of their carers

This guide will help you answer 2.4 Explain approaches to managing situations when the child and young person’s choices are different to those of their carers.

This guide focuses on situations where a child or young person’s choices differ from those of their carers. You need to show you understand methods that can be used to manage these situations in a fair and supportive way. This covers recognising the reasons behind choices, identifying possible risks, responding appropriately, and communicating well with all involved.

Carers can be parents, guardians, foster carers, or residential care staff. Differences in views can be about education, health, friendships, hobbies, clothing, diet, religious practice, or future plans. Your role is to balance respecting the child’s rights and opinions with meeting the duty of care to keep them safe and supported.

Why Differences in Choices Occur

Children and young people develop their own personality, interests, and opinions as they grow. This natural process leads them to make choices based on their sense of identity. Carers may have their own preferences rooted in culture, beliefs, personal history, or concern for wellbeing.

Common reasons for differences include:

• Age and maturity of the child
• Desire for independence
• Influence from friends or media
• Cultural or religious traditions
• Concerns about safety or suitability voiced by carers
• Different priorities for education, health, or social activities

Recognising these drivers helps you approach each situation with understanding and fairness.

Legal and Rights Frameworks

Under the Children Act 1989 and 2004, the child’s welfare is the main consideration in decision making. The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) states that children have the right to express their views and to have those views taken seriously according to their age and maturity. The Equality Act 2010 protects against discrimination based on protected characteristics such as religion or disability.

Workers must balance respect for these rights with safeguarding responsibilities. This means choices can be supported if they do not place the child at risk.

Communication Approaches

Clear communication is the foundation for resolving differences. The worker acts as a bridge between the child and the carer, helping each to understand the other’s perspective.

Steps for effective communication:

• Speak with both the child and the carer separately to gather information
• Use active listening techniques to show that their views are heard
• Avoid judgemental language
• Give both parties time to explain their reasoning
• Summarise what has been said to check understanding
• Offer neutral examples to illustrate points

By creating an atmosphere of respect, both sides are more likely to work towards a shared agreement.

Mediation and Facilitation

Mediation involves bringing the child and carer together to discuss the issue with your guidance. The aim is to explore each viewpoint, find common ground, and agree a way forward.

An effective mediation process can include:

1. Setting a safe and private space for the discussion
2. Agreeing ground rules such as no interrupting
3. Allowing each person to speak uninterrupted
4. Identifying the main points of difference
5. Discussing possible compromises or alternatives
6. Agreeing an action plan and reviewing it regularly

This process is more effective when trust is already established between you and the child or carer.

Promoting Participation

Participation means encouraging children and young people to take an active role in decisions that affect them. This builds confidence and helps them feel respected.

Ways to promote participation include:

• Asking open-ended questions to encourage them to explain their views
• Providing information in formats they can understand
• Using visual aids or activities for younger children
• Giving them time to think about their response rather than requiring an immediate answer

When a child participates fully, they can see how their input shapes decisions, even when they do not get their preferred outcome.

Balancing Choices with Safeguarding

Some choices may involve risks to health, safety, or wellbeing. In these cases the priority is protecting the child. This must be explained clearly so that they understand why a choice cannot be supported in its current form.

Approach to balancing choices:

• Identify the possible risks linked to their choice
• Explore safer alternatives that meet the same need or interest
• Involve the child in developing the alternative
• Communicate with the carer about how compromises still protect wellbeing

This approach shows respect for the child’s wishes while fulfilling your safeguarding duty.

Cultural Sensitivity

Differences in choice can often be influenced by culture or religion. Workers should be aware of how traditions shape views without stereotyping or making assumptions.

Actions to show cultural sensitivity:

• Ask open questions about the cultural significance of the choice
• Avoid dismissing cultural practices without discussion
• Learn basic facts about the family’s background through research or asking the carer respectfully
• Offer examples of how similar situations have been handled positively in other families

Cultural sensitivity helps prevent discrimination and builds trust with carers and children.

Supporting Emotional Needs

Disagreements can create frustration, sadness, or anger. Managing these emotions is part of resolving the situation. Children may feel unheard if their view is rejected. Carers may worry if they feel their role is being undermined.

Support techniques include:

• Acknowledging feelings without dismissing them
• Helping children name and understand their emotions
• Encouraging carers to express their concerns openly
• Offering reassurance when the final decision is made
• Following up after the discussion to check emotional wellbeing

Strong emotional support helps prevent damage to relationships.

Using Advocacy

Advocacy involves speaking up for a child’s rights and views, especially if their voice is not being heard. In some cases this may mean involving an independent advocate for the child, particularly in care situations.

Advocacy process:

• Gather the child’s views accurately
• Present those views fairly to the carer or decision-makers
• Explain why those views are important in the context of the situation
• Work to keep discussions balanced rather than taking sides

Advocacy empowers the child while still promoting cooperation.

Records and Documentation

Keeping accurate records is important in situations with differing choices. This shows that the child’s views have been heard, the carer’s concerns noted, and that actions taken were appropriate.

Good records should include:

• Date and details of discussions
• Individuals involved
• Key points raised by each party
• Decisions made and reasons given
• Any follow-up actions or review dates

Records protect both the worker and the organisation and can be referred to in cases of complaint.

Preventing Conflict Before It Escalates

Conflict can be reduced with proactive work before a disagreement becomes serious. This could mean identifying potential areas of difference early and planning ways to address them.

Preventative strategies:

• Encouraging regular communication between carers and the child
• Holding informal meetings to discuss upcoming decisions
• Supporting children to practise expressing their wishes in positive ways
• Helping carers understand child development stages and the need for autonomy

Preventing escalation reduces stress for all parties.

Working with Professional Networks

Disagreements over choices sometimes need the input of other professionals. This can include social workers, educators, health visitors, or youth workers.

Collaborating with others can:

• Offer a fresh perspective on the situation
• Provide expert advice about risks or benefits
• Support the search for compromise
• Show both the carer and the child that their needs are taken seriously by a wider team

Workers should follow organisational procedure for involving other professionals.

Building Trust Over Time

Trust is critical for managing disagreements respectfully. Trust grows when children and carers see you as fair, consistent, and respectful. This makes it easier to work through differences calmly.

Ways to build trust:

• Follow through on agreed plans
• Keep confidentiality unless safeguarding concerns require sharing
• Speak openly and honestly
• Treat both parties equally

Strong trust reduces defensiveness and makes compromise more likely.

Approaches in Residential or Foster Care Settings

In settings where the child lives with carers who are not their birth parents, differences in choice can be more complex. The child may be adjusting to new routines and expectations while retaining preferences from their previous home.

Approach:

• Provide space for the child to share personal traditions or habits they value
• Help carers understand the importance of these practices to the child’s identity
• Negotiate adjustments to routines where possible
• Give reassurance that both the carer’s and child’s needs can be supported

Recognising the unique challenges in these settings is important for fair practice.

Reviewing Outcomes

Once a plan or compromise has been put in place, review its success. This involves checking if the child feels included, if the carer feels reassured, and if any risks are being managed.

Review steps:

• Arrange a follow-up meeting with all involved
• Ask each side what has worked and what has not
• Make changes if needed to improve outcomes
• Keep written notes of the review process

Reviewing outcomes shows a commitment to collaboration and ongoing improvement.

Final Thoughts

Differences between a child’s choices and a carer’s preferences are a normal part of growing up. They give children opportunities to develop independence but can create tension if not handled well. Your role is to respect the child’s views while protecting their wellbeing and supporting carers.

Strong communication, mediation, cultural awareness, and safeguarding all play a part in managing these situations. By acting fairly and working towards compromise, you help build relationships that support the child’s development. Every disagreement is a chance to strengthen trust and teach valuable life skills that will benefit the child as they grow.