3.4. Describe the circumstances that would result in a relationship causing concern and the actions that should follow

This guide will help you answer 3.4. Describe the circumstances that would result in a relationship causing concern and the actions that should follow.

When working with children and young people, it’s crucial to observe relationships that may cause harm or distress. Concerns can arise from relationships with peers, family members, or other adults. Understanding these circumstances allows you to act swiftly and appropriately to protect the child or young person’s welfare.

In this guide, we explore the key indicators of concern and the actions you should take.

Signs of a Harmful Relationship

A harmful relationship may involve emotional, physical, or other forms of abuse. Identifying these signs early can prevent further harm. Be mindful of the following circumstances that may cause concern:

Emotional or Psychological Abuse
This involves using words or behaviour to manipulate, demoralise, or control someone. Signs include:

• Constant criticism or belittling.
• Name-calling or spreading rumours.
• Manipulating emotions to gain control (e.g., guilt-tripping).
• Isolating them from friends or family.

Children and young people subjected to this may show signs of low self-esteem, withdrawal, or anxiety.

Physical Abuse or Harm
Physical harm includes any deliberate act that causes injury or physical pain. Look for:

• Unexplained bruises, burns, or cuts.
• Signs of fear when around the person causing harm.
• Flinching, avoiding physical contact, or refusing to be near others.

Children may appear scared or overly submissive around the person inflicting harm.

Sexual Abuse or Exploitation
Sexual abuse occurs when a child or young person is pressured or coerced into sexual activity. Signs may include:

• Unusual knowledge of sexual matters not appropriate for their age.
• Unexplained injuries in sensitive areas.
• Sudden fear or discomfort around specific people.
• Behaviours that appear overly sexual or inappropriate in context.

Sexual exploitation often involves manipulation, where the child receives something in return for sexual activity (e.g., gifts or attention).

Neglect
Neglect occurs when basic needs, such as food, shelter, and emotional care, are not met. A relationship causing neglect may involve:

• Exposing the child to inadequate living conditions.
• Purposefully withholding affection or care.
• Refusal to meet medical needs.
• Failing to provide supervision or protection from harm.

Signs of neglect might include frequent tiredness, poor hygiene, and consistent hunger.

Controlling or Coercive Behaviours
Control or coercion may come from peers, romantic partners, or family members. This includes behaviour aimed at limiting freedom or forcing specific actions. Examples of control include:

• Demanding constant updates or access to personal belongings, like phones.
• Threatening harm if the child doesn’t comply with demands.
• Restricting who the child spends time with or what they do.

This can leave a child feeling powerless, isolated, and scared.

Exploitative Relationships
Some relationships seek to exploit children for personal gain. These may include:

• Criminal exploitation by gangs or groups (e.g., County Lines drug trafficking).
• Financial exploitation, such as taking money or possessions.
• Using the child to perform labour without fair compensation.

Exploitation can take many forms and may happen very subtly at first. Common signs include secrecy, being withdrawn, or frequently disappearing without explanation.

Bullying or Peer Pressure
Bullying is a common concern in relationships with peers. It may include:

• Verbal taunts or threats.
• Physical aggression.
• Spreading false or damaging rumours.
• Exclusion from social activities or intentionally isolating the individual.

Peer relationships that rely on extreme or harmful pressure to engage in dangerous activities (e.g., substance abuse or criminal acts) can also be concerning.

Dangerous Dynamics in Other Relationships

Relationships with trusted adults may also become harmful. Examples include:

• Abuse of trust by a teacher, coach, or carer.
• Grooming, where an adult builds trust with a child to exploit them.
• Excessive dependency on one adult, leaving the child isolated from others.

Actions to Take When a Relationship Causes Concern

When you suspect a relationship may be causing harm, it’s important to respond appropriately. Acting with care and following organisational procedures ensures the child or young person is safeguarded. Below are the recommended steps:

Observe and Record
Take note of unusual behaviours, interactions, or disclosures. Write down:

• What you see or hear, avoiding assumptions or personal judgement.
• Specific dates, times, and details.
• Any direct disclosure made by the child, using their exact words if possible.

This record can provide important evidence and ensure accuracy when sharing concerns.

Speak to the Child or Young Person
If the child seems ready to talk, listen to them in a calm and supportive manner. Key points include:

• Create a private and comfortable space for the discussion.
• Avoid leading questions like “Did this person do something to you?” Instead, focus on neutral prompts like “Can you tell me more about that?”
• Reassure them that they’ve done the right thing by speaking up.
• Don’t promise confidentiality—explain that you may need to share their concerns to keep them safe.

Follow Safeguarding Procedures
Every organisation working with children has safeguarding policies to follow. Actions may involve:

• Reporting concerns to your designated safeguarding lead (DSL) or manager.
• Contacting local safeguarding authorities if immediate action is required.
• Calling the police if urgent risks to life are identified.

It’s your duty to escalate any safeguarding concerns promptly. Failing to do so places the child at further risk.

Support the Child or Young Person
While external professionals may take on the investigation, remain a source of emotional support. You can:

• Reassure them they are not to blame for the situation.
• Be consistent and dependable in your interactions.
• Keep them informed about what is happening, where appropriate.

This ensures the child doesn’t feel abandoned while their concerns are being addressed.

Avoid Mediation
Do not try to directly intervene in the relationship unless you are trained and the context allows for it. These situations require professional involvement to handle safely and effectively. Avoid encouraging the child to confront the other person directly, as it could escalate danger.

Collaboration with External Agencies

Some situations will need the involvement of external professionals. These partnerships help to ensure thorough and coordinated action. Key organisations include:

• Social Services: Child protection teams investigate concerns about abuse or neglect.
• The Police: They deal with criminal activity, such as physical or sexual abuse.
• Medical Professionals: Doctors or psychologists may provide assessments or treatment for physical and emotional health.
• Charities: Organisations like NSPCC or Barnardo’s offer specialised support for children facing difficult circumstances.

When referring to external agencies, always document who you contacted, when, and the advice or instructions they gave.

Preventing Further Harm

After identifying and addressing a harmful relationship, it’s important to minimise the risk of further problems. This might involve:

• Setting up ongoing support, such as counselling.
• Introducing safety plans for high-risk situations.
• Providing education on healthy relationships to help them identify concerns in the future.
• Supporting their family or carers to create a safe environment.

Reassuring the child or young person that it’s okay to report future issues is also critical.

Final Thoughts

Identifying and responding to harmful relationships is an important aspect of protecting children and young people. Staying vigilant, acting quickly, and following safeguarding processes can significantly reduce the risk of harm. Always remember your role in creating a safe and respectful environment where every child feels supported.