1.2 Explain ‘appropriate’ and ‘inappropriate’ words and interactions when a playworker engages with children

This guide will help you answer 1.2 Explain ‘appropriate’ and ‘inappropriate’ words and interactions when a playworker engages with children.

Being a playworker means engaging with children in ways that support their development, confidence and enjoyment. The words and interactions you choose have a direct impact on children’s emotional well-being, behaviour and relationships. In this guide, we explore what is meant by appropriate and inappropriate language and actions when working with children, and how these can influence their play experience.

What is ‘Appropriate’ in Playwork?

Appropriate words and interactions are those that:

• Respect the child’s dignity
• Support positive relationships
• Promote safe and inclusive play
• Encourage independence and creative thinking
• Uphold safeguarding and organisational policies

Appropriate language is positive, supportive and adapted to the child’s age, stage of development and needs. It promotes trust between the playworker and the child. Respect is at the centre of every interaction.

For example, using the child’s name shows respect and personal recognition. Allowing children to express their ideas without interruption demonstrates value for their voice and choices. Speaking calmly, using clear words and listening actively all help children feel secure.

Appropriate Words in Practice

Appropriate words often:

• Build confidence
• Offer encouragement
• Provide clear guidance where needed
• Recognise effort as much as achievement

Examples include:

• “You worked really hard on that.”
• “What’s your idea for how we could use this?”
• “Would you like help with that or do you want to try yourself?”
• “I appreciate how you shared those toys.”

When giving instructions, keep them simple and avoid language that could confuse or overwhelm. Short sentences and familiar words are best. Adapt your vocabulary to the child’s age and understanding, avoiding complicated or abstract terms for younger children.

Appropriate Interactions in Practice

Appropriate interactions reflect a respectful and supportive approach to the child’s play. This includes verbal and non-verbal communication.

Examples include:

• Listening with interest when a child talks
• Joining in games only when invited or welcomed
• Offering help in a way that allows the child to make the choice
• Responding to emotions with empathy
• Acknowledging different cultural backgrounds and traditions in conversation

Non-verbal communication is just as important. Smiling, maintaining an open posture and using gestures that match your words help children feel understood. Eye contact should be friendly and never intimidating. Positioning yourself at the child’s level when speaking makes interaction non-threatening and engaging.

Understanding ‘Inappropriate’ in Playwork

Inappropriate words and interactions are those that harm the child’s sense of self, cause distress, or break organisational or legal safeguarding rules. This includes verbal communication that is:

• Demeaning or sarcastic
• Aggressive or impatient
• Disrespectful of the child’s feelings, ideas or background

It can also include non-verbal behaviours that intimidate or exclude a child from play.

Examples of inappropriate words:

• Insults or name-calling
• Making fun of a child’s idea or effort
• Negative comparisons, such as “You’re not as good as…”
• Overly critical remarks without guidance

Examples of inappropriate interactions:

• Ignoring a child when they are asking for help or attention
• Overriding a child’s choices unnecessarily
• Failing to listen to their ideas or opinions
• Using physical handling in an unsafe or unwanted way

Impact of Appropriate Words and Interactions

Using appropriate language and behaviours can boost:

• A child’s self-esteem
• Willingness to try new activities
• Quality of peer relationships
• Trust between children and adults

Children who experience positive engagement feel valued, respected and supported in developing their ideas. They are more likely to explore and enjoy play opportunities. This fosters resilience, creativity and cooperation.

Impact of Inappropriate Words and Interactions

Negative language and poor interaction can result in:

• Fear or anxiety in play situations
• Withdrawal from activities
• Low self-confidence
• Poor peer relationships

Children may lose trust in adults and feel unsafe to share their ideas. Inappropriate behaviour by a playworker can quickly undermine a positive play environment.

Respecting the Child’s Voice

Appropriate engagement means recognising that children have ideas, opinions and the right to be heard. Give them time to express their thoughts. Avoid interrupting unless there is a safety concern. Ensuring voicing of their opinions in decision-making about play activities shows respect and inclusion.

Examples:

• Asking “How would you like us to set this up?”
• Using active listening responses like “That’s interesting, tell me more.”

Inclusive Language

Appropriate words respect differences in race, religion, ability, gender and family background. Avoid stereotypes and assumptions. Choose words that include all children and avoid exclusionary terms.

For example, if discussing a celebration, acknowledge that not all children may celebrate it in the same way. Ask open questions to allow children to share their own experiences.

Professional Boundaries

Appropriate words and interactions maintain professional boundaries. Avoid language that is too personal or overly familiar in ways that could confuse the relationship between worker and child. Keep communication focused on play, learning and well-being. Friendly and approachable does not mean crossing lines into private matters or sharing inappropriate personal information.

Non-Verbal Communication

Body language, tone of voice and facial expressions send powerful messages. They can be supportive or damaging. An appropriate smile or nod encourages the child. A raised voice or impatient expression can be discouraging.

Always aim for:

• Calm tone
• Positive facial expression
• Open body language

Avoid:

• Folding arms in a way that appears closed off
• Standing over children in a way that feels dominating
• Pointing fingers at children in a threatening way

Responding to Conflict

Appropriate handling of conflict between children involves using calm, neutral words. Guide them to solve problems themselves where possible. Avoid blaming language that singles out one child without hearing both sides.

Examples of appropriate phrases:

• “Let’s talk about what happened.”
• “Can we find a way that works for everyone?”
• “What could we do differently next time?”

Inappropriate responses to conflict include angry outbursts, public shaming or dismissing the issue completely.

Safeguarding Considerations

Appropriate communication is part of safeguarding practice. Certain words or actions can be considered abusive if they cause emotional harm. All interactions should be in line with safeguarding policies and training. Never use language that belittles or threatens. Always report safeguarding concerns to the designated person in your setting.

Supporting Emotional Well-being

Acknowledging a child’s emotions is an appropriate interaction. Statements such as “I can see you are upset” show understanding. Avoid telling a child to stop feeling a certain way, as this can be invalidating. Instead, offer support and help them find ways to return to play when ready.

Encouraging Independence

Appropriate engagement promotes independence. Offer encouragement without taking over the play. Praise effort instead of doing tasks for them unnecessarily. Avoid words that suggest the child cannot do something. Instead, ask how they might overcome the challenge.

Adapting to Age and Development

Appropriate words and interactions take into account the child’s developmental stage. Young children need simpler language and more visual cues. Older children benefit from being consulted in problem-solving. Inappropriate communication happens when you pitch your language far above or below the child’s level, causing confusion or frustration.

Practical Tips for Workers

• Use names correctly and respectfully
• Keep language positive and encouraging
• Listen actively and show interest
• Respect boundaries and personal space
• Check your tone and body language
• Avoid sarcastic or negative comments
• Invite children’s ideas into the activity planning
• Adapt words to suit age and culture
• Keep communication clear and simple

Final Thoughts

In playwork, every word and action shapes the experience for the child. Choosing appropriate language and respectful interactions is not just about good manners. It is about enabling children to feel safe, valued and inspired to explore through play.

By staying aware of your own communication style and focusing on what supports a child’s confidence and creativity, you help create a positive play environment. This builds trust between children and adults, and fosters play that is inclusive, safe and enjoyable for everyone.