3.3 Explain the types of support a playworker might need to give to help children deal with conflict themselves

This guide will help you answer 3.3 Explain the types of support a playworker might need to give to help children deal with conflict themselves.

Conflict between children is common in any play setting. Disagreements can happen over toys, space, rules, or personal differences. A playworker does not simply solve the conflict for them. The aim in playwork is to help children find their own way to manage disputes. This builds problem-solving skills, empathy and self-control. The role of the playworker is to guide, model, and provide the safety and support that makes this possible.

Creating a Safe Environment

Children are more likely to work through conflict if they feel safe. A playworker needs to make sure that the physical and emotional environment allows this. Safety here means children are protected from harm and know they can speak freely without fear of being shouted at or punished unfairly.

A safe environment includes:

• Supervision that is attentive and ready to step in if needed
• Clear boundaries about violent behaviour such as hitting or kicking
• A calm approach from the adult so children feel reassured
• Respect for each child’s voice so all feel heard

When children know they are in a safe space, they are more willing to try to solve problems themselves.

Listening to Both Sides

One of the most valuable supports a playworker can give is active listening. This means giving full attention to what each child says without interrupting or judging. Sometimes conflict grows worse if children feel nobody listens to them.

Ways to offer this support:

• Let each child speak in turn
• Repeat back key parts to show you understood
• Use simple questions such as “What happened next?”
• Avoid taking sides too quickly

When both parties feel heard, emotions often calm, making it easier for them to find a way forward.

Helping Children Calm Down

Strong emotions can stop children thinking clearly. A playworker may need to support children to calm down before they talk about the problem. This might take a few minutes and can happen in a quiet space away from the main group.

Methods to support calming include:

• Encouraging deep breathing
• Suggesting a short break or different activity
• Using reassuring words and a calm tone
• Giving space for silence

Once feelings are less intense, children can return to the discussion and problem-solving process.

Encouraging Empathy

Empathy means understanding how another person might feel. Children do not always see the impact of their actions. A playworker can help them consider the other person’s viewpoint. This is not about blaming either side but about widening their understanding.

Ways to build empathy in conflict resolution:

• Ask questions like “How do you think they felt when that happened?”
• Use storytelling to compare feelings in a safe way
• Notice and praise moments where empathy is shown
• Help younger children connect facial expressions with emotions

Empathy helps children think about fairness and often leads them to fairer solutions.

Teaching Simple Communication Skills

Children in conflict might struggle to express themselves constructively. A playworker can support them by showing and practising positive communication skills. This helps them speak honestly but politely.

Communication skills can include:

• Using “I” statements such as “I feel upset when…” rather than blaming
• Taking turns to talk
• Making eye contact
• Listening without interrupting

These skills reduce misunderstandings and help children focus on the actual problem instead of attacking each other.

Guiding Problem-Solving Without Giving the Answer

If an adult solves every dispute, children do not learn how to manage conflict themselves. Instead, a playworker can guide them through problem-solving steps. This is where the adult asks open questions and prompts thought but allows the children to suggest the solutions.

Helpful steps include:

• Identifying what the conflict is really about
• Asking each child for ideas about what might solve it
• Exploring what each child is willing to agree to
• Reaching a decision together

The playworker supports the process and ensures fairness but does not dictate the outcome unless safety requires it.

Modelling Positive Behaviour

Children often copy adult behaviour. If the playworker manages disagreements calmly and respectfully, children are more likely to do the same. This means showing respect to both sides, keeping voice levels moderate and avoiding sarcasm or put-downs.

Positive modelling can include:

• Demonstrating how to apologise respectfully
• Showing active listening in practice
• Keeping body language open and calm
• Speaking politely even when correcting behaviour

What children see often influences what they do.

Giving Language for Feelings

Children may need help to name their feelings. Without the words to describe emotions, they may resort to shouting or hitting. A playworker can introduce words that explain feelings such as frustrated, excited, worried, annoyed, or left out.

Support here can include:

• Using emotion cards with faces and words
• Naming the feeling you notice in a neutral way
• Encouraging children to tell peers how they feel before explaining the situation

This helps children communicate more clearly and reduces the risk of escalation.

Encouraging Responsibility

Support in conflict management must include helping children take responsibility for their part in the disagreement. This is not about blaming but recognising actions and choices.

Ways to encourage responsibility:

• Asking “What could you have done differently?”
• Helping the child reflect on outcomes
• Talking about how future actions could change the situation
• Praising honest reflections

When children own their part of the conflict, they are more willing to repair relationships.

Supporting Negotiation Skills

Negotiation means finding a solution where each side agrees. A playworker can guide children to think about what they are prepared to give up or change, and what they would like in return. This is part of learning compromise.

Negotiation support can include:

• Asking “What can you offer?” or “What would make it fair?”
• Helping them focus on points of agreement first
• Talking through the pros and cons of each idea
• Coaching them to speak respectfully during offers and counter offers

Children then gain skills that are useful well beyond the play environment.

Recognising When to Step In

While the aim is for children to resolve conflict themselves, there are times when the playworker must step in directly. This might be needed when there is risk of physical harm, ongoing bullying or a situation that cannot be resolved by the children’s current skills.

Signs that intervention is needed:

• Physical aggression
• Ongoing repeated targeting of one child
• Refusal to listen to each other at all
• Signs of serious distress

In these cases, the role shifts to protecting well-being first and teaching conflict skills later.

Building Confidence in Conflict Resolution

Children need confidence to handle disagreements. A playworker can support this by recognising and celebrating when they solve conflicts well. This reinforces their belief that they can manage disputes independently.

Ways to build confidence include:

• Praising specific behaviours such as listening or making fair suggestions
• Noticing when they keep calm during challenges
• Reminding them of past successes in resolving conflicts
• Encouraging them to try again if first attempts fail

Confidence helps them approach problems with a positive attitude.

Supporting Group Conflict

Some disputes involve more than two children. A playworker may need to break the discussion into smaller parts so everyone has a chance to contribute. Group conflicts can be complex and may need extra time and clear structure.

Support strategies for group disputes:

• Letting each person speak without interruption
• Summarising common points so the group keeps focus
• Encouraging shared solutions that meet most needs
• Agreeing on group rules to prevent future disputes

A clear and fair group process makes it easier for children to feel safe expressing their views.

Encouraging Reflection After Conflict

After a resolution is found, the learning continues. Reflection helps children understand what worked and what could be done differently. The playworker can ask open-ended questions that lead children to think about the process.

Examples of reflection prompts:

• “What helped you sort it out?”
• “Next time, what might you try first?”
• “How do you feel now compared with before?”
• “Has anything changed between you since we talked?”

Reflection builds lasting skills and helps reduce future conflicts.

Supporting Cultural and Personal Differences

Children may come from different backgrounds and have varying personal experiences. A playworker can help them respect each other’s differences and avoid misunderstandings based on these differences.

Support includes:

• Teaching tolerance and respect for different views
• Talking about how values or routines can vary
• Helping children ask questions without teasing or judging
• Explaining that different ways of doing things can still be right

Understanding difference can reduce the type of conflict that arises from misunderstanding.

Helping with Rule-based Disputes

Disagreements often happen over games or playground rules. In these cases, a playworker can help children clarify the rules or create new ones they agree on. The process itself builds skills in negotiation.

Support can involve:

• Encouraging children to state the rules before a game
• Helping them vote or agree on changes
• Making sure rules are simple and fair
• Allowing time to review rules later if problems arise

This teaches children that rules can be adjusted if everyone agrees.

Supporting Children with Additional Needs

Some children may need extra help in conflict resolution due to learning needs, communication difficulties or social challenges. A playworker can adapt their approach with extra patience, visual aids or smaller steps.

Support here includes:

• Using visual prompts to explain steps
• Keeping instructions short and clear
• Allowing more time for responses
• Working closely with parents or carers for strategies

Tailored support ensures all children can take part in resolving differences.

Final Thoughts

Conflict is part of play and part of life. The role of the playworker is to help children gain the skills, confidence and understanding to handle disputes without relying entirely on adult solutions. This takes active listening, calm guidance and a consistent way of working.

When a playworker supports children in managing their own conflicts, they are helping them build lifelong skills in communication, empathy and negotiation. These skills affect not just relationships in the play setting, but friendships, family life, and future working life. By giving thoughtful support, playworkers empower children to turn conflict into a chance to grow and learn.