3.4 Explain how childhood experiences may impact on children’s relationships with others

This guide will help you answer 3.4 Explain how childhood experiences may impact on children’s relationships with others.

Children’s relationships with others are shaped by their earliest experiences. These experiences influence how children see themselves and how they interact with people. Early life events can build confidence and trust, or they can cause fear and uncertainty. In playwork, understanding these influences helps you support children in building healthy, positive relationships.

Attachment and Bonding

Attachment is the emotional bond between a child and their primary caregiver. Strong attachment usually forms when a child’s physical and emotional needs are met consistently. This makes the child feel loved, safe and valued.

When attachment is secure, children tend to:

• Feel confident exploring their environment
• Trust others more easily
• Seek comfort and support when needed

Insecure or disrupted attachment can occur when care is inconsistent, absent, or neglectful. This can make children:

• Struggle to trust adults or peers
• Avoid close relationships
• Show clingy or overly dependent behaviours

The quality of this early bond influences how children form relationships with family, friends, and adults outside the home.

Early Emotional Responses

The way caregivers respond to a child’s feelings affects how that child manages emotions later. If children receive calm, supportive reactions when they are upset, they learn that feelings can be expressed safely. They begin to understand empathy from others.

If feelings are ignored, mocked, or punished:

• Children may hide emotions
• They can become anxious about expressing needs
• They might respond aggressively or withdraw from friendships

Playworkers can help by modelling positive responses and supporting emotional expression in play.

Social Skills Development

From a very young age, children learn social behaviours through observation and interaction. Direct attention, listening, sharing, and taking turns often start in the home. Early play opportunities guide these skills.

Children who have frequent positive social play:

• Learn cooperation
• Build problem-solving strategies
• Practice empathy and fairness

Where social play is limited or negative, children can struggle with teamwork and understanding social rules. Situations where a child has been isolated may cause difficulties in group settings later.

Role of Family Behaviour

Children often copy what they see and hear in their home life. They notice how adults speak to each other, handle disagreement, and solve problems. These observations set an example.

Positive family behaviours help children develop:

• Respect for others
• Healthy ways of managing conflict
• Language to explain needs and feelings

Negative models, such as shouting, aggression, or avoidance, can teach children to approach relationships with fear or hostility.

Impact of Trauma and Loss

Trauma can include experiences like abuse, neglect, domestic violence, accidents, or sudden loss of a loved one. These events can leave a lasting mark on how children relate to others.

Common effects of trauma:

• Difficulty trusting adults and peers
• Over-alertness to danger
• Withdrawal from social contact
• Overreactions in conflict situations

Playwork spaces can offer stability, safety, and consistent interactions that help reduce these effects.

Loss, such as death, separation, or changes in care arrangements, can cause grief. Children may express grief through behaviour changes, mood swings, or challenges in friendships.

Influence of Culture and Values

Children learn social norms, rules, and values from their family culture. This shapes their relationship style and expectations.

Cultural factors include:

• Communication styles
• Expressions of respect
• Attitudes to sharing, cooperation, or competition
• Comfort with physical contact

Differences in cultural norms can cause misunderstandings with peers from other backgrounds. Playworkers can encourage respect for diversity and help children adapt to varied social situations.

Early Learning Experiences

Access to play, learning opportunities, and exploration builds confidence and competence. Successful early experiences encourage children to engage with others, try new activities, and communicate openly.

Where such opportunities are absent or negative:

• Children may avoid group play
• They can feel inferior to peers
• Skills such as listening and cooperation may be underdeveloped

Structured playwork activities that are inclusive can help fill these gaps.

Impact of Consistency and Stability

Consistent routines and clear boundaries make children feel secure. With stability, they are more likely to approach relationships confidently. Unpredictable or chaotic environments often lead to uncertainty.

Children in unstable settings may:

• Test boundaries repeatedly
• Struggle to trust rules and authority
• Form short-term or casual relationships without deep trust

Playworkers can provide predictable routines that build reliability in how relationships are formed.

Peer Influence in Childhood

Friends and peer groups strongly affect relationship skills. Positive peer networks support sharing, respect, and cooperation. Negative peer experiences, such as bullying or exclusion, can damage self-esteem and cause mistrust.

Playworkers can observe group dynamics and create inclusive games that prevent isolation and promote belonging.

Impact of Health and Development Issues

Health challenges or developmental differences can affect a child’s ability to form relationships. Physical illness, speech delays, or neurodivergence such as autism can influence communication, sensory experiences, and social understanding.

This can lead to misunderstandings with peers or avoidance of certain settings. Supportive playworkers can adapt activities to different abilities and encourage acceptance among children.

How Playwork Can Respond

In playwork, recognising that childhood experiences affect relationships means adapting practice to meet individual needs. Strategies include:

• Building trust with consistent, respectful actions
• Listening actively and showing genuine interest in each child
• Offering varied play that encourages cooperation
• Supporting conflict resolution between children
• Being aware of non-verbal signals and emotional states

Physical play spaces can be arranged to promote group interaction but with quiet areas for children who need space.

Indicators of Relationship Difficulties

By observing behaviour, playworkers can spot signs linked to earlier experiences. Indicators may include:

• Frequent solitude or avoiding peers
• Excessive clinginess to one adult
• Quick frustration in shared activities
• Reluctance to speak or join conversation
• Playing only with younger or older children rather than same-age peers

Recognising these signs early allows the playworker to support positive change.

Building Positive Experiences

Creating new, safe, and enjoyable experiences can help children re-shape how they relate to others. This does not remove the impact of earlier experiences, but it can add positive layers to social development.

Ideas include:

• Group creative projects
• Partner games that build trust
• Celebrations that value each child’s contribution
• Role-play scenarios to practice empathy and problem-solving

Success in these activities can build self-confidence and trust over time.

Importance of Communication in Playwork

Good communication between the playworker and child helps build understanding. This is particularly helpful for children whose childhood experiences have made them cautious or withdrawn.

Effective communication methods:

• Using clear, simple language
• Allowing extra time for responses
• Confirming understanding through feedback
• Showing positive body language like eye contact and smiles

Children who feel heard are more willing to build relationships with peers.

Interviewing Caregivers and Working Holistically

Where possible, building a link with caregivers can help understand the child’s past experiences. Parents or carers can share details about the child’s history, which can guide your approach. Working with schools, social workers, and other professionals strengthens support for the child’s relationship-building.

Final Thoughts

Every child’s ability to form relationships is shaped by the events and care they receive in their earliest years. The impact can be seen in how they trust, communicate, and connect with others in both play and everyday life. Some children enter play spaces with a strong sense of security and openness, while others carry worries, fears, or defensive behaviours from past experiences.

As a playworker, you can make a real difference by offering consistent care, safe spaces, and opportunities for positive social interaction. By paying attention to each child’s individual needs and history, you can help them feel valued, included, and capable of building healthy connections that can last throughout their lives.