4.4 Reflect on ways of developing selfreliance and self-esteem to support children and young people with emotional, behavioural and social development needs

This guide will help you answer 4.4 Reflect on ways of developing selfreliance and self-esteem to support children and young people with emotional, behavioural and social development needs.

Supporting children and young people with emotional, behavioural and social development (EBSD) needs requires a thoughtful approach. The goal is to help them grow in confidence and become more independent in their thoughts and actions. This reflection will explore practical ways to help self-reliance and self-esteem flourish, making links to how this can be applied in schools, learning settings and daily interactions.

Understanding Self-Reliance

Self-reliance means being able to make decisions, take responsibility for actions and use problem-solving skills independently. For children and young people with EBSD needs, being self-reliant can be harder if they have had experiences of failure, rejection or reduced opportunities to succeed. Some may rely heavily on adults for reassurance before making choices.

Helping to build self-reliance involves:

• Encouraging independent decision-making
• Providing opportunities to solve problems with minimal support
• Allowing safe risk-taking in controlled environments
• Giving responsibilities suitable for age and development

Self-reliance grows when a person believes they can do things without excessive help. It works best when supported by patient guidance and practice in real situations.

Understanding Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is how a child or young person feels about themselves. It can influence their behaviour, social skills and ability to learn. Positive self-esteem develops when they feel valued, respected and capable. Low self-esteem can lead to withdrawal, anxiety, aggression or reluctance to try new things.

Factors that affect self-esteem include:

• Past experiences of success or failure
• Feedback from peers, family and school staff
• Personal strengths and how these are recognised
• Social relationships and inclusion in activities

Part of your role in supporting EBSD needs is to create an environment where self-esteem can grow naturally through realistic praise and opportunities to succeed.

Linking Self-Reliance and Self-Esteem

Self-reliance and self-esteem often feed into each other. Confidence grows when children feel capable of acting independently. As they achieve tasks on their own, their self-esteem increases. In turn, feeling better about themselves makes them more willing to try solving problems without help.

Reflection on practice should include consideration of how both areas can be addressed together. For example, setting clear expectations for a child to complete part of a project independently supports self-reliance, and recognising their success boosts self-esteem.

Creating Opportunities for Independence

Children and young people need real chances to act without constant guidance. This requires trust from staff and realistic goals. Opportunities could include:

• Letting them plan a small classroom activity
• Assigning them a role such as equipment monitor
• Involving them in peer mentoring programmes
• Encouraging them to think of solutions before asking an adult

Reflection should focus on moments when children have managed tasks independently. Were they motivated? Did they know the steps? Did they need reassurance? This helps identify what works and what could be adapted.

Setting Clear Boundaries

Boundaries provide structure and safety. Children with EBSD needs thrive when there are clear rules and consistent expectations. Boundaries help them understand where independence fits within acceptable behaviour.

To support self-reliance you can:

• Make rules clear and easy to understand
• Explain why boundaries exist
• Involve children in setting classroom rules
• Apply consequences fairly and calmly

Consistent boundaries help self-esteem by making the environment predictable and safe. This encourages children to take responsible actions without fear that rules will change suddenly.

Giving Responsibilities

Responsibility helps children learn accountability. When trusted with responsibility, they feel valued. This can be as simple as taking care of a piece of equipment or helping a younger pupil.

Reflections on this approach might explore:

• How children respond to being trusted
• Whether responsibilities match their ability level
• How success in tasks affects confidence
• How mistakes are handled and turned into learning points

The key is to choose responsibilities that challenge without overwhelming.

Encouraging Problem-Solving

Problem-solving is vital for self-reliance. It teaches children to think for themselves and explore options. You can encourage this through classroom discussions, games, or real-life situations.

Ways to support problem-solving include:

• Asking open-ended questions
• Offering choices instead of instructions
• Giving time to think before answering
• Allowing mistakes and discussing them constructively

Reflecting here means looking at how children react to problems. Do they become frustrated quickly? Do they seek reassurance immediately? This guides how much support they need before they can manage independently.

Positive Feedback and Praise

Praise is powerful when realistic and specific. Instead of saying “well done”, link praise to the exact behaviour or achievement: “You remembered to bring your homework without being asked”.

Positive feedback:

• Reinforces effort as well as achievement
• Shows that strengths are noticed
• Helps children see their own progress

Reflection might explore whether children respond better to public or private praise, and how often praise is meaningful rather than routine.

Building Resilience Through Safe Failure

Failure is part of life but can be damaging to self-esteem if handled poorly. Children need to experience safe failure, where mistakes do not result in humiliation or harsh punishment.

Support can include:

• Helping identify what went wrong
• Looking at alternative ways to succeed next time
• Praising effort and persistence

Self-reliance grows when children are not afraid to try. Reflection should consider whether the environment is safe for trial and error, and how staff react to setbacks.

Social Skills Development

Poor social skills can affect both self-esteem and independence. Children may misinterpret social cues or find it hard to form friendships. Structured support can help them practise social interactions.

Approaches include:

• Role-play activities
• Group projects with clear roles
• Peer support schemes
• Adult-led discussion about feelings and reactions

Reflecting on social skill improvement is important. You might note if children are initiating conversations more often or collaborating better in group work.

Creating a Safe Emotional Environment

Children with EBSD needs often feel unsure of how others will react to them. Safety means they can express emotions without fear of ridicule.

Safe environments are built through:

• Listening without judgement
• Using calm language
• Avoiding sarcasm or public criticism
• Showing patience during emotional outbursts

Reflection could involve questioning whether the classroom feels emotionally safe for students. Are they willing to share ideas? Do they approach adults for help without fear?

Encouraging Self-Reflection in Children

Helping children to think about their own actions builds self-awareness, which supports independence. This can be done through guided reflection conversations, journals or simple feedback sessions.

Questions you might use:

• What went well today?
• What could you do differently next time?
• How did that choice make you feel?

Observing progress in self-reflection skills is an indicator of growing self-reliance.

Working in Partnership with Others

Self-reliance and self-esteem can be supported through collaboration with parents, carers and outside agencies. Sharing strategies helps children receive consistent support.

You might reflect on:

• Whether parents understand and use strategies at home
• How outside professionals contribute to planning goals
• The impact of consistent messages from all adults involved

Consistency between settings helps children feel secure, which encourages both independence and confidence.

Adapting to Individual Needs

Every child is different. Some may respond well to verbal encouragement. Others need more structure or visual prompts. Adaptation is a central part of supporting EBSD needs.

Reflection questions could include:

• Does the current approach match the child’s preferred learning style?
• Are goals challenging without causing anxiety?
• What changes helped a child make progress?

Tracking these changes over time helps identify which methods are most effective.

Monitoring Progress

Monitoring allows you to see how self-reliance and self-esteem are developing. This can include observation notes, checklists or informal comments after activities.

Points to monitor:

• Willingness to attempt tasks independently
• Responses to constructive feedback
• Interaction with peers and staff
• Emotional responses to success and failure

Regular reflection with colleagues strengthens support plans and allows for quick adjustments when progress stalls.

Final Thoughts

Children and young people with emotional, behavioural and social development needs often face barriers that can lower confidence and limit independence. Building self-reliance and self-esteem is a gradual process that needs patience, creativity and trust. Clear boundaries, positive feedback and chances to act independently help these areas to grow at the same time.

Reflecting on practice keeps the focus sharp. It allows you to see which strategies work best and where a child might need extra help. With consistent support, children begin to believe in their own abilities and take more control over their lives. This benefits their learning and their future outside the classroom.