Separation anxiety is a common and natural phase of development that many young children experience. As early years practitioners, understanding what separation anxiety is and how to support children through it is essential. In this guide, we’ll explore the concept, its causes, how it manifests, and strategies that can help ease this anxiety for children and their families.
What is Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety is an emotional response that occurs when a child feels distressed due to separation from their primary caregiver or familiar surroundings. It is most prevalent in infants and toddlers, particularly between eight months and three years old. During this period, children are developing strong attachments to their caregivers, usually parents. The emotional bond formed makes it challenging for them to understand the absence of their caregiver. This distressing feeling manifests as anxiety, as they fear for the permanence of the separation.
Causes of Separation Anxiety
Attachment Theory
To comprehend separation anxiety, it’s crucial to understand attachment theory. British psychologist John Bowlby introduced attachment theory. It emphasises the bond between children and their caregivers. Bowlby suggested that secure attachment provides a sense of safety for children, while separations can threaten this security, causing anxiety.
Developmental Milestones
As children grow, they reach various developmental milestones. The awareness of object permanence, recognising that people and objects exist even when out of sight, typically appears around eight months. This awareness is simultaneously liberating and frightening, leading to anxiety when separated from caregivers.
Temperament
Every child is born with a unique temperament. Some children are naturally more cautious or sensitive. Such qualities can make them more prone to separation anxiety. It does not signify a problem but is essential to recognise in providing support.
Changes in Routine
Significant changes in a child’s routine or environment can also trigger separation anxiety. Life changes like starting nursery, moving house, or a parent returning to work can lead to feelings of uncertainty, enhancing anxiety.
Symptoms of Separation Anxiety
Children express separation anxiety in various ways. Recognising these symptoms is crucial for providing timely support.
Physical Symptoms
- Crying or Clinging: These are the most overt signs. A child might cry or cling to their caregiver when faced with separation.
- Tantrums: Frustration can build if a child’s distress is not soothed, leading to tantrums when left by a caregiver.
- Physical Complaints: Some children may express their anxiety through physical symptoms like stomach aches or headaches.
Behavioural Signs
- Refusal to Participate: A child might avoid engaging in activities, delaying separation.
- Sleep Disturbances: Anxiety can cause issues with sleep, including difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep alone.
- Withdrawal: Instead of acting out, some children become withdrawn or quiet.
Emotional Indicators
- Fearfulness: A general increase in fearfulness, including fear of the dark or new spaces.
- Mood Swings: Rapid changes in emotions, such as going from happy to suddenly upset.
Effects of Separation Anxiety
When separation anxiety persists without support, it can begin to impact other areas of a child’s life.
- Emotional Development: Persistent anxiety can hinder a child’s emotional confidence.
- Social Skills: Children might avoid social interactions, affecting social skill development.
- Academic Development: As children reach school age, anxiety could impact academic progress due to difficulty in concentrating.
Supporting Children with Separation Anxiety
Supporting children through separation anxiety involves a multi-faceted approach. Understanding, patience, and consistent strategies can alleviate the anxiety experienced.
Building a Secure Environment
- Familiarity: Create a consistent daily structure. Familiar routines provide comfort and predictability, reducing anxiety levels.
- Personal Items: Encourage parents to leave a comforting item with the child, like a familiar toy or blanket.
Gradual Exposure
- Short Separations: Start with brief separations before an extended time apart. This helps reassure children that caregivers will return.
- Play Dates: Arrange short and supervised play dates without caregivers to build confidence.
Effective Communication
- Positive Language: Use encouraging words. Instead of focusing on the absence, discuss fun things to do while apart.
- Honesty: Always be honest with children about when caregivers will return.
Collaboration with Families
- Open Dialogue: Share insights and strategies with families to ensure consistency at home and in childcare settings.
- Support for Parents: Encourage parents to remain calm and confident. Children often mirror the emotions of their caregivers.
Therapeutic Approaches
When anxiety affects daily functioning significantly, seeking professional help might be necessary.
Counselling
Child psychologists or counsellors can offer tailored strategies to support children struggling with separation anxiety.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT helps children manage their anxiety through understanding and adjusting thought patterns.
Separation Anxiety Disorder
While separation anxiety is a normal part of development, it is essential to differentiate between typical anxiety and Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD). SAD occurs when anxiety persists beyond early childhood or severely interrupts daily life. Professional assessment may be needed when symptoms are extreme or ongoing.
Conclusion
Separation anxiety is a universal and natural part of childhood development. Recognising its causes and symptoms allows early years practitioners to offer effective support. With understanding and practical strategies, children can overcome their fears and build confidence, fostering healthy emotional and social development. Providing a supportive and reassuring environment helps children navigate this developmental phase, easing their transition to independence while maintaining secure attachment bonds. Through collaboration with families and, when necessary, seeking professional guidance, children can be supported in overcoming separation anxiety, ensuring that they grow into secure, confident individuals.